Coming Out and Dating

Dear Dr. Frankie,

I’m 51, lesbian and having a difficult time meeting women to date. I have been in quite a few serious relationships over the years and now would just like to date some nice women. I don’t like the bar scene anymore and I’m not completely out, so it makes things difficult. I did recently join a PFLAG chapter in my area and I’m in a coming out support group and although I have met some very nice people, there’s no one in particular I have been interested in. Could you make some suggestions?

-Coming Out

Dear Coming Out,

Let me start off by saying congratulations on being so brave to step out of your norm and be proactive in caring for yourself and trying to meet others.  I think joining PFLAG is a great start to meeting friends of friends and becoming more involved in the community.  I would also look at LGBT volunteer programs or events to meet other people as well.  Consider joining an activity group that attracts women of similar interests.  I also encourage people to give online dating a try.  It’s time consuming and of course there are no guarantees, but it allows you to quickly meet a new group of women all looking for the same thing as you, a great relationship.  I think by being open to yourself, meeting lesbians face-to-face (which includes their friends, which exponentially increases your social circle), and seeking out a relationship online, you open the doors to a new world of possibilities. Other options include speed dating or hosting a small get together with the women you have met through PFLAG and have them bring their friends (the more the merrier).  Good luck and once again, great job being open to a new ways of exploring relationships.

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