When you think about BDSM, many people think immediately of an expansive, dangerous 50 Shades-esque dungeon full to the brim with sex furniture, appliances, toys and accessories. It can be an intimidating thought — most of us aren’t ready psychologically or financially for that kind of commitment, and it can feel like a barrier to getting involved with kink, even if you know you’re interested.

In reality, an active and pleasurable kinky sex life doesn’t require a roomful of special equipment; in fact, it’s completely possible to have incredibly kinky sex using only you and your partner’s bodies. But it’s certainly true that toys and implements can be fun, and many of us love trying out new equipment with partners or dates. If you’re just getting started with kink and BDSM, you don’t need a whole sex dungeon or a treasure chest full of imposing implements; just a few items that largely fit inside a nightstand drawer will set you up for almost any type of kinky sex you and your partner can dream of.

Leash & collar

A leash and collar setup certainly isn’t required for any kind of power exchange play; they’re not the most broadly functional accessory, and they don’t necessarily make any specific type of sex possible. But for some people, they’re important symbols of the choice to play with consensual power exchange or kink as part of their sex life, and they can be a powerful way to get into the headspace of a BDSM scene. Whether it’s having your partner put your collar on as the first initiating step of a scene or leaving it out on display in the bedroom as a thrilling reminder, a collar and leash may be a meaningful part of your collection of BDSM accessories.

Restraints

The very first letter in BDSM represents bondage; if the idea of being physically restrained is a thrill for you or your partner, you have a lot of options for toys and accessories to explore that. A great start is a simple set of cuffs; they’re small enough to be thrown into a suitcase or a handbag or stored in a sock drawer, but can have a big effect; even just having one’s hands restrained behind their back can make a scene profoundly charged. A worthwhile upgrade might be an underbed restraint system, which is both discreet and always ready for whenever you want to immobilize someone spread-eagle on the bed. If you’re interested in exploring shibari or rope bondage, you of course need at least one hank of rope to start practicing with.

Impact toys

For many people, impact of some kind is the core of their interest in BDSM. There are plenty of types of impact you can explore without any accessories at all, like spanking or face slapping. But for many of us, the experience is more intense and the sensation is stronger with some kind of implement, and it’s exciting to see a paddle or slapper get taken out of the toy box. A paddle is slightly weightier, with a satisfying heft to swing and a solid thuddy blow for the person being spanked. A slapper is a lighter, whippier implement that’s almost effortless to swing, and makes a delightful loud slapping noise upon connecting; for the person being struck, it offers a stinging sensation to make you shiver.

Sensory & oral play

Paradoxical to a vanilla sex experience, sometimes the most erotic possible thing in a kink context is not being able to fully experience it with all your senses. Light forms of sensory deprivation, like using a blindfold, is a very easy, affordable and accessible way to experiment with the power of temporarily denying someone the ability to see what you’re doing or what’s about to happen to them — or the rush of submitting to an experience you can’t see or plan for. (If you’re newer to using a strap-on and harness, leaving your partner blindfolded and waiting in breathless anticipation is a great way to manage the insecurity of taking a few minutes to struggle to get the harness on.)

For many people, a gag holds a lot of charge and draw; wearing a gag can feel pleasurably degrading, as you’re forced to struggle and drool around it, or emphasize the depth of your submission in that you aren’t able to articulate words.

Sensation

For some people, the psychological component of dominance and submission and the scenes that reinforce those dynamics are the main draw of BDSM; in other cases, people are interested in the wide range of sensations you can either inflict on someone or experience at someone’s hands. If you’re interested in exploring an accessible range of consensual discomfort or pain — maybe even at the same time as experiencing pleasure — it’s worthwhile to invest in a few affordable items to experiment. Nipple clamps are a popular option for anyone of any gender; the clamp tightness can be adjusted to accommodate the threshold of the person using it. A pinwheel implement, or Wartenberg wheel, can look intimidating (which is a fun thing to play with in a scene), but actually allows for a wide range of sensations depending on how much pressure you use, from a light tickle to a sharp sting. And on the other end of the sensation spectrum, a soft, fluttery tickler toy is a great counterpart to the more intense toys — soft, tender touch and pleasure can feel incredibly heightened after enduring pain or discomfort.

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