When you think about pornography, you might have a few specific images in mind: a man clutching a magazine wrapped in a black plastic bag, or flipping through pay-per-view channels in a hotel room, or sitting down in a dark theater full of other men with their pants unzipped. In reality, the landscape for porn has changed radically in our lifetimes — and the people consuming it often aren’t men at all. Women aren’t traditionally thought of as porn’s main audience — why are women so much more into porn than many of us think?

 

Porn Is Arousing and Hot

 

Many women watch porn for the same reason anyone does: it creates arousal and connects to sexual desire.

 

The main reason most women watch porn may be simpler than you think: it turns them on and they enjoy it, just like men do. Many of us grew up being told that women didn’t experience proactive sexual desire at all; if we felt desire or arousal or wanted to engage with sexual fantasies (just regular ones! Let alone something a little outré or taboo). It may feel inconceivable that we — or other women — might get off on porn in the way men do.

 

Even if we accept that women have sex drives and experience arousal and desire, there are a lot of myths out there about very essentialist ways women experience desire as opposed to men. One myth holds that “men are very visual” while women aren’t, and that this explains why men like porn but women supposedly don’t. Other stereotypes put forth that women only like romantic, meaningful or tender sex, or have more scruples around what they find arousing, while men have lower standards and get off on tawdry or “exploitative” scenarios you see in porn. In reality, these ideas — like most essentialist ideas — aren’t broadly true. Science shows both women and men are physically and mentally aroused by porn.

 

As sex expert and educator Violet Blue writes:

 

“In a 2006 study at McGill University, researchers monitored genital temperature changes to measure sexual arousal and found that, when shown porn clips, men and women alike began displaying arousal within 30 seconds; men reached maximum arousal in about 11 minutes, women in about 12 (a statistically negligible difference, according to the study).”

 

As for what specifically turns us on, women are absolutely not beholden to any more pure or scrupulous sexual expression than men are; for many women, as with people of all genders, the taboo or off-limits is a major turn-on.

To Satisfy Curiosity

 

Porn can serve as a low-risk way to explore fantasies, preferences, and different forms of sexual expression.

 

Porn is often hot and stimulating — and it’s also a living index of a culture’s sexual interests and preoccupations. Any given individual person has a finite number of sexual partners to learn from and map out human sexuality from, but the universe of porn is infinite. You can experiment with or get exposed to almost any kind of sexual expression, from fantasies you wonder whether you might be into to sex acts you find repulsive to kinks you feel a strange preoccupation with and feel the need to explore further. Whether it’s threesomes, specific roleplay fantasies, same-sex experiences, or leaning into kink, watching porn can help us explore interests in a safe and accessible way.

 

It’s surprisingly normal for people of all genders to discover they’re into something in bed only when they experience it for the first time, usually through a new partner. For many women, watching porn helps satisfy their curiosity and aid their discovery into what turns them on and what kind of people they’re most attracted to — without emotionally fraught or risky real-life sexual encounters.

The Desire to Gain Experience or Learn

 

For many people, porn functions as an informal way to understand sexual dynamics, even if it’s not a replacement for real education.

 

For some of us who grew up in purity culture or with a sex-negative home life, we may have made it well into adulthood feeling lost, fearful and overwhelmed when it comes to sex. We might feel embarrassed that sex acts other people seem to consider basic feel intimidating to us, or that we don’t know things that everyone else seems to.

 

Even if you didn’t grow up in a particularly sex-negative culture, it’s easy to get well into adulthood feeling like you have gaps in your sexual knowledge. Even if we know that porn isn’t the greatest place to go for sex ed — the sex acts being depicted are designed to look appealing, not to accurately reflect reality — it can feel like watching porn helps us understand how some sex acts or specific kinks are supposed to play out broadly. And maybe more importantly, it can help us understand why something might be appealing or what the draw is — maybe we have a new partner who’s into something we’re unfamiliar with, and watching scenarios designed around how hot it is can help us get inside the fantasy and see what’s compelling about it.

An Increasing Amount of Porn Is Geared Towards Women

 

Even if we know that there’s no essentialist reason why men would categorically like porn and women categorically wouldn’t, we can acknowledge that a lot of porn is created with men as the imagined viewer, and ultimately produced by men even if it features women as actors. However, that isn’t always the case — and when we ask why so many women are actually into porn, it’s useful to remember that women are increasingly creating porn themselves, often for other women.

 

In the realm of queer porn, studios like Pink & White and Crash Pad have been creating ethical porn that centers queer people, often women, since the first half of the 2000s, with plenty more queer-owned and operated studios cropping up all the time. A new genre of audio erotica and porn is making waves with women of all sexual orientations, with apps like Quinn and Dipsea catering to women in both the format of their erotica and its content. And of course, the burgeoning field of independent erotic creators on platforms like OnlyFans or ManyVids means that individual creators can create content that caters to any audience of any gender and any set of proclivities — including you.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Women and Porn

Do women watch porn as much as men?
Research shows that many women do engage with porn, though patterns of use and preferences may differ.

 

Is it normal for women to feel turned on by porn?
Yes. Sexual arousal in response to visual or auditory stimuli is a normal human response across genders.

 

Can porn help people understand their preferences?
It can provide exposure and curiosity, but it’s important to remember it doesn’t always reflect real-life dynamics or communication.

 

Conversations around desire, curiosity, and sexual expression are often more nuanced than we’re taught. If you’re exploring what you’re attracted to or how that shows up in your relationships, our sex and intimacy coaching can help you approach those conversations with more clarity and confidence.

 

Dr. Frankie Bashan is a licensed psychologist, sex therapist, and professional matchmaker with over 15 years of experience working with LGBTQ+ individuals and couples. She specializes in relational dynamics, communication, and sexual compatibility. She is the founder of Little Gay Book and host of the Love, Laughs and Lessons podcast.

 

Recommended Books:

Naked Ambition: Women Who Are Changing Pornography

Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection, and Privacy, 2nd Edition

The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure

 

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