5 Best Hobbies to Meet Other Lesbians

Almost everyone finds meeting new people as an adult incredibly difficult β€” especially in an age of remote work and in the waning days of a global pandemic, it can be very difficult to stumble across new people in person and form organic relationships. Even finding new friends as an adult outside the confines of work or school is very challenging, let alone someone to date β€” and for lesbians and queer folks, it can feel even harder.

Yet we know these other queer folks are out there β€” somewhere. How do you find your overlaps and meet other lesbians? Shared interests and passions are always the best way to connect with new people β€” doing activities is a much more effective way to bond than mere small talk. So with that in mind, here are five of the best hobbies through which to meet other lesbians.

Sports & Athletics

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Whether it’s on the field or watching from the stands, queer folks are often deeply invested in women’s sports. Even if you aren’t necessarily Sporty Spice, there’s a lot of fulfilling activities in this space you might find rewarding.Β 

Even learning about the history of lesbians in women’s sports might be a good place to start β€” reading about Billie Jean King, Brittney Griner, Diana Nyad, Megan Rapinoe or Sue Bird can help you understand why women’s sports are so powerful for many queer women, and help you connect to others on the topic. It’s easier than it’s ever been to catch a WNBA game or US Women’s National Soccer Team outing on regular TV programming.Β 

Outside of organized sports, many queer women are involved in solo athletics they find incredibly fulfilling, from biking to weightlifting to yoga. Lots of these activities have social groups with strong bonds spring up around them, and are often very welcoming to newcomers. If you’re open to trying something new, getting into one of these activities might be the beginning of many new friendships β€” or a relationship.Β 

After you feel like you’ve gotten your bearings, you might try some of these activities:

  • Checking out a local women’s or lesbian sports bar β€” not every city has one, but more than you think!
  • Attending a WNBA game or local women’s soccer league in your area
  • Joining a rec league in your community β€” these range from very casual and low-key, like queer kickball leagues, to fairly serious competitive soccer or rugby leagues
  • Hosting a watch party for a major sporting event, like the women’s college basketball finals, and suggesting all your friends bring friends or acquaintances
  • Participating in a fantasy league with other queer women β€” they’re often easy to participate in without much sports knowledge
  • Joining a queer-friendly gym, yoga studio or fitness class, or a sports experience through community education
  • Showing up to an organized group bike ride or fun run, often free and advertised on Instagram or Meetup

Activism & Organizing

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It’s no surprise queer women are often at the forefront of organizing around social change, as a group who’s been multiply oppressed throughout history. Lesbians aren’t just found in LGBTQ organizing spaces, however β€” we live full lives and understand that our experiences are all interconnected, so going to a housing rights town hall, local PTA meeting, or city council public comment session are all likely to help you meet other queer women out in the real world.

Many of us don’t necessarily think of ourselves as “activists” or want to be one β€” but most of us do feel we’re invested in our communities and how they’re run, which is all organizing is. Think about what you feel passionate about in your day to day life or where you’d like to see change β€” safer bike lanes in your city? Cleaner streets and rivers without pollution? Longer breaks and sick days at your job? Odds are good there are other queer women who agree with you. Some of the places you could meet them are:

  • Your local Friends of the Library org, or attending a library board meeting open to the public
  • A city or town council meeting, open to the public
  • Local meeting organized around cleaning up parks or green spaces
  • Bake sales or markets for a cause
  • Protests, marches or actions for causes you care about
  • A union meeting for your job, or tenant’s union meeting for your place of residence
  • Volunteering for the campaign of a candidate you support
  • Knocking on doors or phone banking to get out the vote

Don’t see the organizing space you’d like to be part of? Consider being the one to start it!

Crafts & Maker Spaces

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One (loving) stereotype of lesbians imagines us as crunchy homesteaders β€” living off the land, making our own jam and preserves, foraging for flax to spin into linen for our clothes. While most of us do prefer living with electricity and running water, it’s true that we’re often crafty, resourceful, and self-sufficient. Think of the image of a handy butch wearing a toolbelt and work boots; many of us do in fact work in the trades or adjacent to them.

Whether you’re already adept at making chainsaw sculptures or you’re thinking about getting your feet wet for the first time, here are some options you might consider checking out:

  • A community ed class on woodworking, ceramics, stained glass art, watercolor, etc
  • Hosting a wine and painting night (or air-dry clay, or jewelry making, etc etc) night and asking friends to bring friends
  • Taking a carpentry or home repair class at your local hardware store or Home Depot
  • Joining a community tool library or maker space
  • Attending maker or craft fairs

Outdoors & Gardening

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Many queer women feel a great kinship with nature and the outdoors β€” you’re apt to find us camping, spending weekends at outdoor music festivals, or growing enough backyard vegetables to feed a small army. Think of a Subaru full of camping gear and hiking equipment, taking a winding road up into the mountains for the weekend.

Even if you aren’t historically outdoorsy, there’s likely plenty you can do in your area that will be both accessible and put you in touch with a wide range of new and interesting queer women. Even in cities or urban areas, many outdoor devotees have worked to make a wide range of resources and activities available, and you’re welcome to take advantage of them. This could look like:

  • Getting a spot with a community garden or orchard
  • Looking on meetup.com for organized local hikes or nature walks
  • Joining a beginner’s birding group
  • A membership in your local conservation organization or co-op
  • Researching local geocaching leagues

Geek Culture & Fandom

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One of many great things about queer women and lesbians is that we often know ourselves very well, and are unafraid of others’ perception of us or conforming to a norm β€” so it’s no surprise that we’re often loud and proud about our geeky and nerdy interests. Especially as representation of queer women characters becomes more mainstream in popular culture, many queer women become deeply invested in their favorite pop culture properties β€” and build deep friendships or even relationships with other women who are as well.Β 

Not sure how to get into fandom, or what might be a fit for you? Although there are plenty of geek community experiences in real life, the internet is often a good place to start. Are there blogs, Discord communities, fandom Instagram accounts, or fanfiction groups dedicated to your favorite TV shows, video games or books? Perhaps a hashtag on social media? Where are people reading and writing about the cultural property you care about? Where are your people’s “watering holes”? Once you find this, you can try:

  • Attending watch parties, in person or online, for properties you care about
  • Joining a Discord or subreddit for your interest and participating in conversations
  • Going to conventions like ComicCon or Geekfests
  • Reading or writing fanfiction and following creators in the space on social media
  • Trying out game nights in your area for board games or TTRPGs
  • Looking on local message boards or social media for people looking to form gaming groups or play TTRPGs in person

Recommended Books:

Strong Women, Deep Closets: Lesbians and Homophobia in Sport

Let This Radicalize You: Organizing and the Revolution of Reciprocal Care

The Making It Guide to Crafting

Surviving the Great Outdoors: Everything You Need to Know Before Heading Into the Wild (and How to Get Back in One Piece)

Geek Feminist Revolution

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