Dear Dr. Frankie,
My girlfriend and I’ve been together three months and want to move in together. Our friends say its too early but we think the time is right.
Your friends are right. Now is not the time to move-in together. Scientific studies show that brain chemistry is altered during the beginning of a relationship. The brain releases a surge of Dopamine and Norepinepherine (neurotransmitters) that creates feelings of euphoria, similar to being high. Once you’ve become intimate sexually a hormone called Oxytocin is released which makes people feel intensely connected. Every subsequent interaction makes this bond even stronger. The point is that it is important to let the dust settle before making big decisions because you are on a biochemical “high” right now. Give it time. To maintain a balanced perspective be mindful of spending too much time together. This will help you keep a level head during this exciting (but chemically-altered) state you are in. In the meantime take a week-long trip somewhere, spend long weekends together, learn your girlfriend’s quirks and let her learn yours. Moving in too quickly, even with the right girl, could potentially permanently damage your relationship.