The Happiness Code

Love, Laughs, & Lessons
Episode 17
Xiaoli Mei

In today’s episode we welcome Xiaoli Mei, a distinguished matchmaker, relationship coach, and author of “Seven Steps to a Lasting Happy Relationship.” Xiaoli shares her transformative journey from personal struggles in love to becoming a leading figure in matchmaking, providing a beacon of hope for those seeking true companionship. Alongside hosts Dr. Frankie and Denise Rai, Xiaoli delves into the critical importance of self-love, breaking old patterns, and the unique challenges of cross-cultural relationships. This episode is a treasure trove of insights, offering practical advice and the wisdom of Xiaoli’s book to guide listeners toward finding their own paths to lasting happiness and love. Join us for a deep dive into the art and science of matchmaking, and discover how everyone can find true love by applying the right principles.

Bio: Meet Xiaoli Mei, the visionary behind Elite Asian Matchmaker and a beacon of hope for those seeking love. With a deep foundation in psychology and a passion that transcends traditional matchmaking, Xiaoli has risen to prominence as a premier matchmaker for discerning individuals. Her journey from a high-flying career in Corporate America to the heart of human connections is a testament to her relentless pursuit of what she calls the “Happiness Code.” Amid personal trials, including two divorces and the challenge of single parenthood in the bustling San Francisco Bay Area, Xiaoli’s resilience and dedication to growth have been unwavering.

Now, alongside her husband, Jim, Xiaoli lives a life rich with love and purpose. She is committed to guiding her clients on their paths to self-discovery, confidence, and the joy of finding a compatible partner. Elite Asian Matchmaker stands as a pinnacle of personalized matchmaking and relationship coaching, where Xiaoli’s expertise and heartfelt approach bring together those meant to be.


In 2022 Dr. Frankie presented a TedX talk focusing on the topic of sexual fluidity. You can view it here:

Her latest venture is as CEO & Founder of, specializing in personalized matchmaking and singles events for heterosexual singles.

Dr. Frankie’s coaching is based in Northern California, but clients can access her services via Zoom from around the globe. To learn more about working with Dr. Frankie 1:1: please visit this URL:

You can follow Dr. Frankie:



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