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Ask Dr. Frankie: My girlfriend suddenly broke up with me & I’m having trouble getting over her.

Sierra of Houston writes: Recently my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was very sudden and I was totally blindsided. She said she wasn’t in love with me, but yet she spent all her time with me. She took me to meet her family and accepted all the love I gave her. She admitted she should have spoken up earlier, but she couldn’t and now I’m feeling very betrayed and having a hard time getting over it. Do you have any advice?

First off, Sierra, I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t even imagine being with somebody for two years, and trusting them and having a lot of love for them…. And realizing that all of sudden, they have vanished or evaporated from my life.
So, I appreciate you submitting this question. It happens. I know other are probably relating to it.

Ya know, I would say…. this is going to take time for you to get over this. I don’t have any sort of quick remedies for you. Or suggestions
I think you need to take time to figure out, first of all, to let go of some of the pain. Take care of yourself. Be around people that are loving and supportive of you.

But, I think you also need to take some time to figure out, ya know, what maybe you might have missed. And I’m not saying that definitely did miss something, but I would wonder myself…. Were there signs? Indications? That may have helped me better take care of myself

I think that…. sometimes when we are afraid of losing somebody that we love, or afraid of feeling the difficult feelings, we sometimes dig our head in the sand, like an ostrich and try to avoid really what’s going on.

And it’s too hard to really look at it and I think as you move forward in your life, it’s important for yourself and your future relationships to figure out how to stay very present and when things come up, be aware of them. And talk about them. Instead of running from them.
I would guess that things came up, way before two years, that maybe were just too afraid of confronting or maybe you didn’t see it because….. there’s something that we often do, which is denial.

It’s a defense mechanism, you can go ahead and look it up and learn about it, but I’m sure you’re familiar with it. Denial.
It’s something that protects us. But oftentimes, it prevents us from actually seeing what’s actually really in front of us. Stuff we
have to deal with. So sierra thanks so much for submitting this question and I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

Little Gay Book is the premier lesbian matchmaking company in San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Hawaii, San Antonio and New Jersey. Offering full matchmaking, dating coaching and speed dating, Little Gay Books seeks to match quality, professional women in healthy, long-term partnerships. This video channel is our way of providing real, practical, healthy advice about a a variety of lesbian dating and relationship issues. Learn more at: https://littlegaybook.com

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