Ask Dr. Frankie “How long until we move in together?”

Ask Dr. Frankie Relationship and Dating Tips for Lesbians – Lesbian Matchmaker http://www.littlegaybook.com

Today we have a question from Cindy who resides in Philadelphia. She asks, How long should my girlfriend and I date before we move in together?

So I know how us lesbians get, okay they meet somebody, they’re feeling really connected, and pretty early on we feel we want to move in together. There’s a chemical change that occurs in the beginning of a relationship that causes us to feel strong feelings prematurely. These chemicals like Oxytocin make you feel like you want to move in together and spend every waking moment together but you want to slow down and just beware that this is sort of at play and you want to really get to know this person before you jump into something. Moving in together is a big commitment so you want to build a foundation beforehand so that when life happens and things become really stressful you’ll have something to fall back on. You’ll have a foundation, you’ll know how to argue effectively, you’ll know how to work through difficult situations. If you move in too soon, life will definitely happen, I promise you, and you won’t have the foundation to back up the relationship. So I would take it slow and not move in until you’ve been together for about a year which is usually my recommendation. So enjoy your time together and once you’ve hit the year mark and you feel like you’ve been challenged in ways in your relationship that have shown that you can work through it by communicating and being respectful and work through difficult situations then consider moving in together if you’re still feeling like you’re compatible and there’s chemistry. Good luck, Cindy.

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