Dear Dr. Frankie,

I’m 2 yrs sober and I’ve been single for almost the same amount of time. If I’m to avoid alcohol type situations how can I meet lesbians without going to the clubs I used to go to?


Dear Sober,

I would do some research online and find lesbian events that occur outside of the club scene.  Depending on where you live you can find singles events that include activities such as hiking, rock climbing, snowboarding, skiing and bike riding. You may also be able to find a speed dating event that is held at a venue without alcohol. When placing your profile for online dating, emphasize wanting a partner that who enjoys socializing outside of a bar.  There are many women who don’t care for that scene and are looking for someone who feels similarly.  You may also want to consider volunteering at your local LGBT Center and/or host a social gathering or activity with your sober lesbian friends (having them bring their friends) to meet new people and prove to yourself you can meet women in a new (non triggering) environment.

Take the Butch-Femme Quiz

take the Butch

Quiz me!