Last week, I posted a blog post about the 7-year marriage contract. Â I sent it to my email newsletter list and received some profound comments.
One comment in particular was sent from April Hirschman (who asked that we let you know her name AND that she’s single 🙂 ) and was so beautifully crafted, we simply HAD to publish it in its entirety.
April Hirschman’s response to “The 7 Year Marriage Contract:”
Its a wonderful attempt to bring order to the chaos of human behavior, but alas I don’t think this is the solution, far from it.
We Americans need to fight for a humanistic, poetical, secular-spiritual, naturalistic way to interact.
The last thing we need is to turn love into a contract.A contract will breed claustrophobia which will lead to rebellion. Part of it is semantics and part of it is reality.
I think the book Soul Mates gets closer to this. Also making a users manual but calling it something else like “About me”
that hints at the way you want to be loved, comforted when upset, your triggers.The intention is beautiful but a contract is for business. I just don’t think it can be translated into the language of love.
As an aside, April Hirschman also wrote a very eloquent recount of her experience attending one of our Lesbian Speed Dating events.
We love the idea of an “About Me,” book – look for a future blog post.
Another client commented:
I believe that marriage contract suggested by you is a great idea with couple exceptions: “the 7-year marriage contract” and “this marriage is subject to termination”. The remaining parts are just what we need to remind ourselves not to take happiness, our partner for granted. I am self-sufficient individual and won’t settle for anything less than I want to bring into a relationship-attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and freedom.
How did the idea of a 7 Year Marriage Contract strike you? Did it give you hope and confidence for your relationship, or did it provoke you to rile against it?
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