When you find that woman you are interested in, you want her to be interested in you too, right?

And if you two happen to hit it off and you want to continue on in a relationship, keeping her happy and interested in you is key to having a happy, loving, and healthy one that lasts.  If you are wondering how to do that, keep reading and you will wonder no more….

Keys to getting and keeping her interested:

1. Compliment her in the right way: 

Being complimented always tends to feel good.  Compliments can help her to feel attractive and appreciated by you. They can feel especially meaningful if you give them to her about unique qualities. For instance:

“I’m so impressed by how much time and effort you are putting into work and school. Your dedication is inspiring”,

Or

“I love that you are such a great listener. You make it so easy for me to open up and talk to you”

Compliments like this let her know that you are paying attention to her and noticing things about her that make her special.  

However, compliments can backfire, too.  If you are constantly complimenting her, she may feel as if your words are insincere, needy or even manipulative.  Or, if you are only complimenting her on one thing, then she may start to think that that is the only reason you are with her. For instance, if you only give compliments to her about her appearance, then she may start to think you are only with her because you are attracted to her.  

2. Don’t EVER take her for granted:

Even if you have been with her for years, DO NOT take her for granted.  Try your best every day to show or tell her how much she means to you.  Do something nice for her every day just because.  Do not just think that because she is with you that she does not still need to be shown love, affection and appreciation by you.  

If she happens to be someone who does a lot for you and the relationship, it can be easy for some partners to get complacent and even start to think things like “she loves me so much she would never leave me”.  They start to slack off on putting effort into the relationship and giving their partner attention “now that they have them”.  

This can breed resentment and anger by her over time if you do this. And, ultimately, she may lose interest in staying with someone who does not seem to care about her any longer.  

3. Bring on the romance:

In order to have those loving feelings for one another, a little romance needs to be brought into the picture.  Some women like to be surprised with romantic gestures like flowers sent to their office just because it is a random Tuesday.  Others want to be swept off their feet and whisked away on a spontaneous weekend getaway.  Or, on the smaller scale, you could write loving messages on Post-It’s that you place randomly all over the house before you leave for the day for her to find after she wakes up.  

Whatever you choose to do, think about what would help her to feel special and loved.  What would help maintain her level of desire in this relationship? 

4. Get Physical:

And I am not just referring to sex here. While that is important, what is even more important is to show her how much you care in your actions as well as your words.  Being affectionate with kisses, handholding, or placing your hand on her leg while sitting next to one another, for example, can be very reassuring.

You will know if the woman you are with is comfortable and likes to be affectionate in public or prefers to save that for when you are alone.  Ask her what she prefers and then do what is best for both of you. 

5. Help her feel safe and secure:

She needs to feel both of these if you want a truly happy and healthy relationship.  Here are some ways to do that:

• It’s important to let her know that you are still thinking about her even when you’re not together. A few quick texts or a short phone call sometime in the day just to say hi or ask how her day is going will help her to know that she is on your mind and show that you care about her.
• It is important to keep your promises so she can trust and rely on you. If you tell her you are going to do something or be somewhere, you need to.  And if something comes up that keeps you from being able to, you need to let her know as soon as you can.  
• Don’t lie. Not even a small one.  Once she knows that you are capable of lying at all to her, this can forever break her ability to feel safe and secure with you.

Anyone can have a relationship, but if you want to try and have a great one, you do need to put in the extra effort.  If you are lucky enough to find an amazing woman with whom you want to have a great relationship, try doing these 5 things to get and keep her interest.

For more tips on how to be a good girlfriend see these other posts:

4 Ways To Be A Good Girlfriend

Long Term Lesbian Couples: Better Communication Skills