Going on Your First Lesbian Date
Maybe it’s your first lesbian date or maybe you’ve been out of the pool for a while – either situation, you’re feeling nervous, struggling with confidence and hoping that your less-than-tolerant upbringing doesn’t dive bomb you with guilt. Whatever the scenario that brings you to this first lesbian date, there are some simple, practical tips to keep in mind:
Date with a Positive Mind
Here’s a shocker: a queer woman is another human being. It’s human to feel nervous on a first date, especially when you’re going out with someone you’re attracted to. It’s also likely that she might be nervous, too. While you always want to make a good impression on a date, people who overthink or try too hard often see their efforts backfire. First dates are meant to be relaxed and exciting, because you’re getting to know another person and figuring out whether you have any chemistry together. Approach your date with an positive and open mind.
Keep Things on the Lighter Side
I’ve gone a bit in-depth about overthinking what questions you should ask on a lesbian date, but for this first date avoid heavy and personal topics such as politics or religion. People who discuss such topics, including past relationships, on dates send HUGE red flags that they have a lack of boundaries and poor judgement. Just keep things bright by sticking to topics like work, passions, and hobbies. It’s also fine to generally talk about what you’re looking for in a partner. Once you both get to know each other more, you can move on to discussing deeper topics.
Be On Time
While you don’t want to put too much pressure on your first date, first impressions do matter. People who are punctual on dates is one of the first signs that they are reliable and is a big indicator that they are respectful of other people’s time. Make sure you check out your meeting place online and determine beforehand how long it would take to get there in time for your date. On the day of your date, also send her a courtesy text when you’re on your way.
Resist Your Phone
This should be a no-brainer, but it bears repeating: be present. These days some people often use their phone as a social crutch when they’re too nervous to interact with the people around them. Others are worker bees who are always responding to work-related emails and text messages. But it goes without saying that isolating yourself while you’re on a date is a BIG red flag, unless it’s an emergency. Your Instagram feed and client emails can wait at least two hours. By keeping off your phone and being present with your date, you’re showing that you are serious in learning more about them and you are respecting their time.
Take The Check
While it’s fairly common for couples to go Dutch when it comes to paying the check, at least offer to pay it and be prepared to take the check. This simple gesture makes it clear that this wasn’t just a dinner between two friends and that you are serious about your romantic intentions.
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