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How to Feel Sexy About Yourself When You’re Single

Sometimes it can be tough feeling like a hottie when no one is seeing you naked! Why spend all that time and energy each day, making yourself look good if you have no partner to see you?

Because you’re worth feeling sexy, regardless of whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship.

What It Means to Be “Sexy”

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Everyone’s definition of “sexy” is subjective. But overall, there’s something universally appealing about having a great attitude and taking great care of yourself. The feeling of sexiness comes when you’re thoroughly enjoying your life, feeling confident in your own skin, doing things that light you up, and yes—doing things to take care of yourself.

Sexiness also shows up in the form of having good boundaries, believing in your own worth, and valuing and respecting your own time. (Think of the opposite: a woman who has poor boundaries, doesn’t believe she’s worth anything and doesn’t respect her own time. That’s not sexy!)

Complaining about everything that’s going wrong in your life? Not sexy.

Doing something to make your world better, brighter, and more awesome each day? Sexy.

Tolerating unhealthy habits in you, that you know you need to change? Not sexy.

Taking the initiative to work out, eat better, or engage in more self-care? Sexy.

Feeling sexy has more to do with how you view yourself and how you’re treating yourself, than in wearing certain clothing or perfume. (Although those things can help—if you’re also focused on taking care of yourself in deeper ways.)

6 Tips for Feeling Sexy — Even if You’re Single

Here are some ways to start feeling sexy about yourself…even if you’re single. You might not be expecting these, so brace yourself!

1. Spend Time With Yourself Each Morning in Reflection

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What? For real? Yes. There’s something powerful (and sexy) about spending time with yourself in the morning, reflecting on what kind of day you had yesterday—and what kind of day you’d like to have today. Getting to know yourself and building your own character is sexy. 

A simple “morning process” can include things like self-reflection, journaling, writing down your goals for the day, writing down things you appreciate, reading a book and learning something new, or thinking about how you can take greater responsibility for some area in your life that’s bothering you.

You can also use this morning time to get clear on what kind of relationship or partner you want to draw in. Whatever you desire, make sure you’re giving that to yourself, first and foremost. Do you want love? Kindness? Attention? Appreciation? Good communication? Fun dates? Make sure you’re giving those things to yourself first.

2. Try a New Hobby or Physical Activity

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Go on a bike ride. Buy a mini trampoline and start jumping. Sign up for online dance classes and get your groove on! Try barre, pilates, or yoga. Sign up for a new gym. Take that tubing trip down the river.

If you can’t find a place to do this in person, there are plenty of online classes you can try. If you’re near nature, try taking a daily walk.

Doing physical activity unleashes endorphins, which make you feel good! (That’s sexy.) Trying a new activity that looks appealing to you—but also makes you a little nervous—is a great way to face your fears (also sexy).

3. Do Something You’ve Always Wanted to Do

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Write a list of 10 things you’ve been wanting to do for months…or maybe even years. Pick ONE thing on the list and challenge yourself to do it today, or start working towards it! Then work your way through the list.

Excitement, creativity, and energy get released when you take action on something you truly want to do—especially something you’ve been procrastinating on. And guess what? Those qualities—excitement, creativity, and energy—are sexier than their opposites (enthusiastic-ness, dullness, and blah-ness).

When you’re busy taking action to create the life you want, that’s often when the perfect partner will show up in your life, because you were too focused on enjoying your life to even think about how single you were! You guessed it—enjoying your life is sexy.

4. Take a Shower, Get Dressed, and Put on Your Makeup in the Morning!

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This one is for anyone who works at home! Being single, it can be easy to skip “the basics” and just lounge around all day—or work in your pajamas. (Or save your shower till the end of the day.) But be honest—does that make you feel sexy?

Take the time and energy to engage in a basic self-care ritual early in the morning (or day), so that can declare to the world: I’m worth looking and feeling good—even if there’s no partner seeing me—because I see me.”

Trust me, this will make a huge difference in your energy and attitude. Plus, you’ll be ready for any spur-of-the-moment Zoom calls or quick trips you need to make somewhere—you’ll already look and feel good!

5. Be Relentless About Having Your Needs Met

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A woman who’s meeting her own needs—or taking action to get her needs met—is very sexy (versus someone who’s stewing in resentment over not having her needs met). This requires knowing, “What do I need?”

Are you hungry? Do you need to eat something?

Are you thirsty? Do you need to drink water?

Is your brain fried? Do you need to give your eyes a break from the computer and go do some physical movement?

Your needs can be super practical (like replacing a light bulb that’s out and annoying you) or deeper—like getting professional counseling around an emotional issue that’s really upsetting you.

Take the time to ask yourself, “What do I need?” And then go about solving that need. This is very sexy.

6. Buy Some New Clothes or Even Lingerie

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If you have a shirt with holes in it, or panties that embarrass you, or clothing that’s super old and raggedy (or you don’t love it)…it’s time to let those go! Dare to buy yourself new clothing that looks great on you. Maybe it’s shoes. Maybe it’s a new eye mask for when you sleep (cause your old one is falling apart and smells weird).

If you’re super committed, you might even hire a stylist or wardrobe expert to help you figure out what looks good on you and what doesn’t. 

I encourage you to try one or all of these tips at your own pace. No matter what you end up choosing, I wish you the joy of feeling sexy in your own skin! 🙂

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