One of the greatest and most game-changing purchases you can make for your sex life is hiding in plain sight: the humble bottle of lube. Lube is often an afterthought to the gleaming, sexy toys with all their bells and whistles that we want to take to bed with us, but using lube correctly can seriously upgrade your and your partner’s experience in bed. Here’s everything you need to know about choosing and using the perfect lube for you.
Why does lube matter?
When we talk about safer (and more enjoyable!) sex we don’t often talk about lube — but we should. Many of us have accepted some level of discomfort or even pain as just part of the package of penetrative sex, deciding that it’s worth it if it will eventually feel good. Many of us could skip out on doing that arithmetic if we were just willing to use more lube! And many kinds of bodies and kinds of sex — menopausal people, people with vaginismus, people who want to have anal sex of any kind — rely on lube to make sex pleasurable and possible. Almost any sex act you enjoy without lube will likely feel even better with it; for instance, air pressure toys often get an even better seal and more intense sensation with lube.
Lube is also an important safer sex practice: using generous amounts of lube makes it less likely that friction will cause microtears inside the vagina or anus, and reduce the chances of transmission of any STIs.
Water-based lube
Water-based lube is likely what you imagine when you think about personal lubricant as a default: it’s a thin but not watery fluid which may get slightly sticky as it dries and is easy to clean up, as it’s soluble in water. It feels closest to the texture and sensation of natural vaginal lubrication, and is often used for vaginal sex.
Water-based lube is a great all-purpose option, and it’s never a bad idea to have some on hand. It’s quick, easy and recommended to squirt some on your hands, toy, or dildo before using them on or in a partner’s genitals (feel free to warm it up briefly by rubbing it between your fingers first if you’re worried it will be too chilly on their skin!). One thing to keep in mind is that water-based lube often contains glycerin, which some people may be allergic or sensitive to — even if you aren’t allergic, some people with vulvas report anecdotally that it affects their vaginal flora. Aloe vera is a good ingredient alternative to glycerin. Some water-based lubes may also contain fragrance or flavoring, which can be irritating to some people’s genitals. Water-based lube is safe to use with all varieties of sex toys and any kind of condom or barrier method you might be using.
Recommended Water-based Lube Products:
Sliquid Naturals H2O Water Based Personal Lubricant 8.5 fl oz
Sliquid Organics Natural Aloe Based Personal Lubricant 8.5 fl oz
Sliquid Naturals Tsunami Ultra-Thick Water Based Gel Personal Lubricant 4.2 fl oz
Silicone-based lube
Silicone-based lube has a different consistency than water-based — it feels thicker and more viscous, and may feel even smoother or more slippery than water-based products thanks to the variety of silicones included in its formulations. Because it isn’t water-based, silicone lube also doesn’t dry out — where water-based lube may evaporate and get sticky with time, silicone lube can just keep going. This makes it ideal for anal sex, a part of the body that doesn’t naturally lubricate. The right silicone lube should provide a plush, luxurious layer of lubrication between the body and whatever it’s being penetrated with, and while you can always add more lube (always err on the side of more lubrication rather than less!), it shouldn’t dry out. Because silicone-based lube isn’t water soluble, it’s a little more effort to clean up — but by the same token, it’s a good fit for sex in the shower or hot tub, since it won’t dissolve away instantly with water.
While silicone lube is the gold standard for anal sex (and some people’s preference overall), a few things are important to keep in mind. First, silicone lube is (counterintuitively) not a good mix with silicone sex toys — a very common material. Extended contact between silicone lube and silicone toys can cause the surface of the toys to degrade. This doesn’t mean you can’t use any of your silicone toys at all! Just take a few seconds to cover them with a condom and you’re good to go — just make sure the surface of the toy is protected from contact with the lube. The other thing to keep in mind is that while water-based lube washes out of skin, hair, fabric, etc with ease, silicone lube can stain bedsheets, blankets or clothing. Again, this doesn’t need to be a dealbreaker — just throw an old towel on the bed first.
Recommended Silicon-based Lube Products:
Sliquid Naturals Silver Silicone Personal Lubricant 4.2 fl oz
Uberlube Luxury Silicone Lubricant 1.85 oz (55 ml) For Style, Sport & Sex
Pjur Original Concentrated Silicone Personal Lubricant 1.02 oz / 30 ml
Hybrid lube
It may feel a little fussy to have two different types of lube on hand for different scenarios or activities — this is the appeal of hybrid lube, which promises to have the best of both worlds. Hybrid lube claims to be longer-lasting than water-based lube alone but easier to clean up than silicone lube. Some people find it to be the perfect all-purpose fit; some people prefer being able to choose the exact lube profile they want for the moment.
A good way to test out whether hybrid lube is a good fit for your lifestyle is to try a sample — if you visit a brick-and-mortar sex shop, they’ll often have single-use packets you can try without commitment. Most hybrid lubes claim to be safe to use with most silicone toys; it’s always a good idea to try a patch test on a toy you aren’t particularly emotionally invested in just to be safe.
Recommended Hybrid Lube Products:
Good Lube Hybrid Silk Lubricant
Sliquid Naturals Silk Hybrid Personal Lubricant 4.2 fl oz
Sliquid Organics Silk Aloe Based Hybrid Lubricant 4.2 fl oz
Oil-based lube
Although water-based and silicone lubes are the most popular commercially available formulations, you can also find lube formulated as an oil. This has some of the benefits of silicone-based lube — it tends to last longer than water-based lube, and it’s a good fit to use in the shower or tub as well as being safe to use with silicone toys. (Oil is also generally safer and more pleasant to ingest than silicone lube if you end up having oral sex later on.)
However, it also has different chemical properties than silicone-based lube which make it a poor fit to use with latex (most condoms and many brands of gloves or other barrier methods). Oil or petroleum jelly (like Vaseline) can cause latex to break down and no longer work effectively as a barrier. This goes for kitchen cabinet oil lubes, like olive oil or coconut oil, as well!
Oil is a great medium for infusing other ingredients — right now, there’s a growing trend of CBD-infused oil lubricants on the market. Makers of CBD oil lube claim it can help aid pain, inflammation or tension during sex, increase relaxation and blood flow, and improve orgasms.
Recommended Oil-based Lube Products:
Ah! Yes OB – Natural Plant-Oil-Based Personal Lubricant
JO Coconut Hybrid Original Lubricant
Coconut Oil-Based Organic Lubricant 3 oz.
For More Articles Check Out These Recent Posts:
Buying Toys: A Beginners Guide
Having Good Sex During and After Menopause
Tips for Having Sex with Vaginismus (or When Penetration is Painful)
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