Dear Blindsided,

I am so sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult period in your life. Emotional pain can be much more painful than physical pain, and it sounds like you really love this woman. The unfortunate truth is that sometimes we just have to lick our wounds and take things one day at a time until we find our footing. Have hope and understand that it’s a matter of time until this happens for you. As difficult as it is to believe right now, your pain will subside and eventually abate all together. Take this time to focus on yourself and be self-reflective. Consider your recent relationship and its unfortunate ending, and think about what areas of yourself you could improve upon. Get involved in strenuous physical activity, ideally of a social nature (team sport, boot camp, CrossFit, dance class…) at least three times a week. You will greatly benefit from the adrenaline and endorphins that your body naturally releases as a result. It will improve your self-esteem and also help you cope with your emotional pain and loss. Force yourself to be social, take care not to isolate yourself. Many of us have a tendency to separate ourselves from our support systems at the very times we need it most. Spend time with friends and family, exercise, eat well, sleep well etc. In time by focusing on these areas you will feel better than you did before you met your girlfriend. These painful experiences are life lessons and they force us to look deeper within ourselves. You have the ability to learn and grow from this and I have every confidence that you’ll be better for it.