Dr. Frankie’s Favorite 11 Dating Tips

Although these are all common sense it never hurts to have a refresher. Keep these in mind and you will find that dating can actually feel like an enjoyable adventure rather than a stressful interview.

1. Do not expect perfection. There is nothing as unattractive as someone who thinks his or her picture is in the encyclopedia next to the word “perfect”. Be realistic about yourself and your expectations for your ideal mate. Unless your name is Prince Charming, look for the shoe that leaves the fewest number of blisters, not the size 4 ½ glass slipper from Saturday night’s Ball.

2. Avoid extra conversation before your first date. Keep your phone conversation on topic. This will heighten the excitement and intrigue and will give you more to discover face-to-face on your date.

3. Minimize distractions. Our Iphones and Crackberries have become an extension of our bodies. Show old-fashioned courtesy and turn off the ringer, don’t text, check email, or keep looking at your phone. It doesn’t say, “I’m important” if your phone is blowing up on a date, it says, “I have bad manners and I don’t value your time”.

4. Go with an open mind. Expect to have an enjoyable time and to meet an interesting person. Don’t expect to meet “the one”, the odds are certainly against this. Dating is an art, not a science. Besides, nothing can turn someone off faster than sensing a needy, smothering, person on a first date. You’ll for sure have ‘em running for the hills, even if they actually might be “the one”!

5. Cut the cocktails. First dates can either be looked back upon with warmth and nostalgia, or can be locker room fodder. Limit alcohol consumption to one drink. This will allow for both you and your date to see each other sans beer goggles and minimize chances for sloppy embarrassing moments.

6. Leave the skeletons in your closet. Avoid discussing your failed relationships, your loathing of exes, and your grandfather that pickled himself with his own moonshine.

7. Be attentive. Show interest by asking appropriate questions and LISTEN TO YOUR DATE’S ANSWER. Avoid politics and religion on a first date. Use common sense and don’t ask questions that you would not feel comfortable answering.

8. Be confident, be yourself. Confidence is sexy. It puts people at ease and the entire date will flow better.

9. Freshen up before your date. Buy a new shirt, take a hot bath, listen to music. This will put you in a good mood and set the tone. If you’re getting off work, try and take a few moments to unwind. You should have some healthy anticipation before a date, it shouldn’t feel like an appointment.

10. Plan the date but be flexible. Don’t be the one who asks your date, “so, what do you want to do?” Show you put effort into the date by having a plan in mind. Be thoughtful, if you’re thinking of taking your date to a steak house or Brazilian BBQ house; first make sure he or she is not a vegan.

11. Success in life and success in dating starts with YOU. Avoid being a serial monogamist. Do not use dating as a distraction. Seeking therapy or help from a dating coach is a sign of strength that shows you prioritize your health and your happiness. You will learn to identify and avoid repetitive-and ultimately failed dating behavior. Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I have years of experience working with individuals and couples and offer affordable, flexible, coaching packages that can help even the most stubbornly insane single.

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