Dear [FIRSTNAME],

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them"
— Thomas Merton

The month of June brings a flurry of excitement and anticipation in our community.  The afternoon margarita parties, all-night dance clubs, and public displays of affection are just a few of my favorite things that Pride Week brings.  Pride is a great time to take some chances; explore new scenes and meet new people.  It's also a great time to reflect on your dating and relationship priorities.

Before your eyes glaze over just hear me out.  Self-reflection is a way to understand how you relate to the world around you.  Consider the choices you've made in the past and how they impacted your present condition.  Without the ability and willingness to self-reflect you are depriving yourself of a way to make powerful and positive change in your life.

What qualities are you seeking in a mate?  What are your top ten "must haves"?  Now of those qualities choose five "non-negotiable must-haves".  Imagine dating outside of your comfort zone.  Life is about taking risks and what better time to test the waters than Pride month?  Do you typically date men or women from the same ethnic group?  Do you turn your nose up at lipstick lesbians or pillow queens?  Do hardcore butches scare you?  Have you dated only leather daddies?

I'd like to give a shout-out to a very underrated segment of our community:  the oldies-but-goodies!  All aspects of our culture suffer from age-ism.  I for one am one person who (prior to meeting my wife), dated older women exclusively.  And by older I mean 10 years or more!

"By three methods we may learn wisdom:  first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter"
— Confucius

Here Are some benefit s to dating someone older than yourself:

1. More secure. In my experience age brings wisdom and a self-assurance not commonly found in younger folks.

2. Less drama. Older women are most certainly NOT the target audience for books like, "Why Men Love Bitches:  From Doormat to Dreamgirl". Older men and women care less about who-thinks-what about them on superficial levels.  They've learned not to sweat the small stuff.